My lust for you still grows

There, in the quiet of my room
I lay, without you
A diluted mess
drunken in physical fatigue


dissecting scenarios
of our past
the lack of sleep
Due to the impending imbalance
I felt between one another


The enlightenment of those first few days
Seemed like a long lost memory
I clutched my Bible to my heart
For it stung without your easiness

Missing the sound of your breath
Whisking through the electric current
Our heartbeats in tune with one another

connected, yet so far


I hated this ominous guilt
Pressing into my lungs
What was the cause
of this silence we were digesting



did I trip over my beam? (oh how you made me shine)
The light I was dancing with?
Did I make the error of becoming too familiar
With your grace



did I show you the side
I was trying to keep in the shadows



depression is a rotting root
Slender and clever
Thorny and Immortal
Unable to be bothered


seeing my hope in your beauty
Climbing its eerie limbs across mine
Sucking the attractive qualities
Away from my persona


It does not mix
With the likes of you

for you are a ruby
Full of life




Radiant and pure
Glowing with passion
Fiery and succulent
A pleasure to hold

wishing to gloat about
Your essence, I scramble over
clutching to my memory
your ecstasy inducing smile


a trophy to put on display
a ridiculously  immaculate wage
only makes up a small percentage
of your virtue
Polished
molded to sheer perfection.
Exquisitely seductive
such a beauty to behold


Yet
Indefinable
those word I have repeated
Again and again


A child
A small sapling
Barely coming forth from being taught how to “be”

now venturing into the real unknown
The dog eat dog world


Taking control of your life
So strong, incredibly brave
Intelligent
You know all the right words to say


so innocent
It seems so wrong
Taking away, the kiss that you had yet to experience.
Yet I wouldn’t give it back for the world.


As I lay here thinking these things
A chip in the center of my being, is tweaked

anticipating the moment

Hopefully waiting
For you to tell me you still like me



is this all in my imagination
for I was worrying for no reason


Yet I didn’t have a way of knowing
because something was off
we weren’t the same
but we were acting as though
nothing had changed


unsure of the truth
we pretended to be fine
your voice seemed distant
although still darling


I felt such joy
In your imposure
even if there was something hidden
I held on to those brittle moments
Of still longing to be with eachother


swarming in confusion
Of what could be
Had you made a mistake
Was I not your one to be?

Were you indecisive?
When it came to love?
Those last 3 days
Of impending doom

Turned out to be nothing
A mere paranoia
You were fine
Worried, but fine

I was the one
Acting like it was the end of the world


Our fear
Made us steer away
Perhaps, waiting for the other
To do the pulling back

But we both fell
At the others suspense
How cute
We are just so cute

The moment I realized
It was all in our heads
I giggled in delight
Because the fact that you were still mine
Floated dreamily into my consciousness


I invited the warm, familiar feeling in
You weren’t running away
I hadn’t hurt you, somehow
You still wanted me

We have to be more direct, my Kitten
For we are so alike
We both are terrified
Mortified
Frozen and stricken in fear
That one day
One of us will change our minds

But I really want you to know
Right now
Truly, I wish for you to believe
That I am comfortably wrapped around your finger
I am puddy in your hands

My heart belongs to you
Your face is all I see
In the corridor,
In patterns on the wall
In streaks of random passerby’s hair
In noses of strangers, pointed ahead
Of luscious eyes, gazing in wonder
In the wild interest of a child’s laughter

There you are
A reminder of what I have
My imagination Is running wild
In your sweet, soft spoken aroma

Baby, you are everything I’ve ever wanted
And more
I never want to lose this
To anything, for any reason

I will always like you
Please, understand this
I am indefinitely falling for you
Harder and faster, as each moment passes

I’ve said these things so many times
Only because of their truth
I want this fact molded into your being
Tattooed onto your sleeve

Wear me inside and out
Use me and breathe into me
For I trust you wouldn’t harm
A single dead end, on my part.

I mean this with every fiber on my person
Every vein that is spending its luxury
Every calorie I have burned
Writing this confession to you

My heart is pulsing with desire
in need of your affection
Please take care of me
Handle with caution

I beg you, listen
And take note.
Those first words you spoke
Notifying me of your grandeur
Of your leisure
In my admiration
Intertwined with yours
Was the finest breath of fresh air
I had tasted in days


Honey, let’s never do that again.
I can’t say this enough
I have caught your cooties.
Now and forever.
I am happily contracted with this disease
Of needing you
As my own.